300 days of beauty, days 52-64 [kaleidoscope]

I know, I know, I disappeared. I've been known to do that from time to time. May vortex, time spent in hospitals, general life exhaustion, and I can even blame it on the rain (which has fallen in exorbitantly copious amounts...I don't know if I can use all of those words together, but anyway...).

So this evening as I prepare to travel once again, I am determined to display a fraction of the last several weeks. All from my phone (couldn't find the cord to download from my camera...sigh), all from my ordinary life. A kaleidoscope.

And as a side note, the half-marathon I had been training for has been downgraded to a 10k. I know that sounds much like hurricane terminology, but the prospect of running a half-marathon was starting to feel much like a category 5 storm. The training was worth it, but this was not the season. I would like to try again, but for this weekend, I will enjoy running a 10k with my brother, spending a weekend in Chicago, and seeing a much-beloved cousin.



Alright, now for the parade of randomness...

My son is training for a 10k and asked to go on a run with a stop at the store. Not his usual request, but I agreed. He ran to the store just to buy me a honeycrisp apple because it was National Teacher Appreciation Day. He came back, panting and sweaty and placed this on the table next to me. I nearly cried I was so very touched.

We studied geography by taste-testing single source chocolate from different countries around the world. We savored it and will continue this study over the next couple weeks. LOVE.

I never tire of these gorgeous blossoms. They survived far longer than I thought they would.

We read on the front porch ALL DAY. The weather has been cruddy, so we relished this day.

A GORGEOUS tranquil evening and a date with my husband. We walked and talked for miles through our city, along our trails.

I was sick, so so sick. My sweet friend dropped these supplies off for me. I'm rich in friends, no doubt.

Back to the front porch and sweet Belle looking through her picture Bible. She loves Moses and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

We hadn't had the best day, this daughter and I, but in the evening, this is what I found written on her mug of tea. We don't have to be perfect, we can't be. We can give love and grace and mercy to one another even in the messy times.

Love my girl's window art, especially against the rain splattered backdrop and the newly unfurled spring leaves.

Again, the front porch...I sip coffee, eat breakfast, and read out there most every morning (weather permitting).

The zoo is always fun. Belle was on a mission to sketch flamingos on this zoo trip.

And tonight...my husband was helping with all sorts or "to-do" items. I'm exhausted after being gone most of the week and spending much time at the hospital and in a car. I'm chugging through one item after another and he writes this for me. A cup of warm tea and truth. What can be better for my very weary heart that desperately needs rest?

300 days of beauty, day 51 [faithful]

I did survive the hut trip. I came back sleep deprived and filthy and not quite ready to start a new week. Right now I categorize it as a unique and valuable experience. There was much laughter and much quiet time to read and reflect, beautiful vistas, and again, more exhaustion than I could handle. It didn't help that my husband left for a business trip at 3 a.m.-ish Monday morning. But, I have beautiful pictures to share...still on my camera.

My sweet grandma is in the hospital and I will be headed to see her tomorrow. I'm looking forward to some time with her. I love her a lot. 

Life doesn't stop, and the last several weeks have been a blur. Tonight, I'm working on a writing project, icing my knee from running, and watching North and South, which I love.

Tonight, I'm thankful that God is faithful. I feel that I'm not functioning well and I have much on my mind, but He is faithful in the daily everything that I face.

And I'm thankful that our spring blizzard didn't take down (literally and figuratively) my beloved cherry blossom trees. It's the little things.

Birthday trip! [Seattle]

I disappeared for a bit. One word. Vortex.

I had a glorious (my daughter's favorite adjective) trip to Seattle. Pictures will litter this blog through the weekend.

Also, I started an Instagram account for this blog. At some point I will figure out how to link from this blog, but not yet. If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm really a pen and paper sort of girl. Decidedly old-fashioned. I know I don't live in an old-fashioned world, nor it is the world I write in, but I avoid what I can. So, those pesky (probably simple) updates and upgrades for this blog and social media accounts are quite slow in coming. 

The Instagram account will essentially be an ode to books. I don't always have time to review or highlight the myriad of books I read, so this will allow me to do so, at least in part. If you are so inclined, you can follow me: @literaturethreads .

In other news, this weekend my husband and I are headed to the mountains for a hut trip with four other couples. This entails backpacking to the hut, which is really up to the hut, gaining 1,221 feet over 2.6 miles and ending at 10,878 feet. In case you are wondering, this is high...like hard to breath high. Especially when you have a pack, snowshoes, and lots of layers. Other details: unplugged, no electricity, a mountain stream for water, with the necessary being an outhouse. Oh, and I'm sure it will be gorgeous and stunning and serene, but right now I'm exhausted and getting buried in packing supplies.

I had a moment of weakness several months back and I agreed to this. It's out of my comfort zone big time, but it's good to do those things that I secretly believe I can't do. I think so at least. Ask me on Monday.

Pictures to come!

In the meantime, enjoy Seattle!

300 days of beauty, days 42-45 [spring?]

So, the first week of spring...70 degrees on Monday, and then the rest of the week looked like this...

300 days of beauty, day 41 [bee blessed!]

As I mentioned, we've had a rough couple of months. We've been walking through grief, and walking along with my children as they grieve has been heart-wrenching. My son has struggled the most, but I've seen him forge his own path, his own personal way of engaging with his heartache. He showed me this picture that he took with my camera:

The teacher and friend he loved so much would sign all of her cards and letters with this phrase "Bee Blessed!" She loved the Lord. She loved bees. And she encouraged all of her students to write letters to her over the summers. She always wrote back--every letter, every time. D saved her letters and they are treasured.

As D processed through his grief, he grabbed our large bucket of marbles and constructed the phrase that reminded him of the teacher he loved so much. He did it privately, took my camera on his own, but later wanted to share what he had made. He had a smile on his face, even though it was touched with some bittersweet.

I'm not sure if beauty can truly shine without the presence of darkness and shadows. Can we appreciate spring without experiencing the barrenness of winter? Even though this picture doesn't "shout" spring, as I was flipping through pictures, I thought of our friend, Robin, who now experiences new life and "spring" fully. I also thought of bees and how every time we watch honeybees from our window, we can remember Robin--spring is coming!

Bee blessed!

300 days of beauty, day 10

I'm going to brag. I totally took this picture and it is one of my favorite photographs of all time. My husband didn't even think that I took it, and it remains free of any surgical alterations. 

The most magnificent aspect of this photo has nothing to do with the photo itself. I traveled by myself to Amsterdam to be with a very dear friend. On this day through late night, we walked the canal-lined streets of Amsterdam, cameras in hand, and captured the city. I have no other friend who enjoys photography as much as I do. (Her abilities far outrank mine, however.) So, as we strolled, I never felt as if I had to apologize for holding her up. I could halt and linger and observe the beauty and unending photographic landscape around me. In my mind's eye, that day stands with crystal clarity, much like the canal tapestry I saw on this enchanted April evening in Amsterdam. 

Friends. Adventure. Beauty. 

Food for the soul.

seasonal life..."let the season be..."

I love the four seasons and I'm not merely referring to Vivaldi (which I admittedly adore). I anticipate the coming of each season and I also feel a loss for a season's end. Constant, change like clockwork. I like change and I hate it.

Autumn is my favorite. Bright greens transition to reds, oranges, yellows, burgundies and shades in between. Crisp, cool days, bright sunshine, crunchy leaf piles, pumpkins, apples, fleece hoodies, hiking, and hot drinks on my front porch. Autumn never lasts long enough for me. One early storm with swift, bristly winds can ruin its splendor.

I prefer winter to be the shortest season. I do love winter clothes, stacks of books, hot drinks, soup, cobblers, candles, and watching pudgy snowflakes flutter and swirl and fall through my large picture windows. I like being cold so I can cozy up under more blankets. I love watching my kids romp around in the backyard snow.

Winter often bleeds into spring. Spring often has an identity crisis. New growth breeds hope, fresh non-freezing air fills my lungs, buds appear, birds fill the air with twittering, I start to think toward summer days. I savor the blossoms, my beautiful blossoming trees. These fragrant blossoms are so often taken out by spring storms and vicious winds, winter's reluctant release, but I breathe them in while they last. And, as much as I like blossoming trees, one type of tree in particular smells like rotting garbage. No joke, no exaggeration. I have no regrets when this tree transitions to its summer coat of unscented leaves.

Summer seems like it should be the best, but it's a mixed bag for me. I don't particularly like the heat, I hate mosquitoes and wasps and snakes, I hibernate during bright sun hours. Still, leafy trees and a hedge of bushes return to give me my own Secret Garden. I love sitting and sipping my coffee in my backyard while I read. I love the lingering daylight, swimming, BBQ, baseball and 4th of July. I look forward to cool mornings, cool evenings, summer storms, fresh basil for pesto, bike rides and field trips. Time seems to speed up during summer, it feels more the length of Leap Day, barely existing before it is gone yet again.

In life and in mothering I've heard many thoughts on seasons. Usually the reference is in hopes that a certain season will pass. To mothers of young children, "the longest days and the shortest years," has reached proverb status. Despite the cliche, it's very true.

Leaving that season, I felt a sadness for the little nothings and sweetness that I couldn't bottle up and wondered if I were too overwhelmed to really enjoy it all. I tried. Every season I leave, I feel bereft of something. Changes in my kids, our schedule, our home, my friendships...it hurts. Every season I enter holds uncertainty, but also a knowledge that new joys await, new experiences, new phases for our kids, new paths on our journey. New.

I miss my toddlers' exuberant excitement greeting me at the door, but I don't miss diapers and tantrums and not sleeping well. I want to hug their baby pictures sometimes, but I don't want to return if it means giving up where we are now. 

Our family traveled to New York City last fall for several weeks. At ages 11, 9, and 6, our kids are old enough to take such a trip and have it be amazing. They remember and appreciate it. They won't fall off a subway platform or wander off (we were a little concerned about Belle, being as fearless as she is...). We couldn't have done this trip when they were all pre-elementary school. (Well, we could have if we were totally nuts).

We are in a new season. Some parts are spectacular, some parts challenging, we hit the beautiful and the ugly. It's a different beautiful and ugly than five years ago. Not better, not worse, just different.

This season, ordained for us by the hand of God. Whether it be beauty or desolation, turbulent seas or mind-numbing doldrums...ordained.

Seasonal is defined as: fluctuating or restricted according to the season or time of year.

I've found this so true of life. Fluctuating. Restricted. But not just restricted, restricted according to the season....

Ecclesiastes resonates:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;  

3a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;  

4a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  

5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;  

6a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  

7a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  

8a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I've been reading Victim of Grace by Robin Jones Gunn. My heart has been encouraged. She writes:

"Why are we caught off guard when the seasons change? We wonder if we've done something to precipitate the loss of the previous abundance and all the vibrant evidences of God's wonder-working power. All of nature willingly surrenders to the changes in the physical universe, yet nothing in our human nature allows us to simply let the season be what it is and trust that the hand of the Great Gardener is still at work in us, carrying out his bigger plan for the world as well as for our lives." 

I have felt these seasonal shifts. I tend to focus on the negative, what I will lose with each passing season. I cannot see what lies ahead, but I can know my God. I can remember all that He has led me through, all the seasons gone past, the many joys and sorrows and I can know that He continues to turn the seasons. 

I will praise Him as Samuel did after Israel defeated the Philistines in battle saying, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12)

Beauty awaits on the horizon, seasons changing the world around me, but God does not change and I will walk hand in hand with my Lord toward the horizon, letting the season be.

wonder and awe, dolphins and dandelions

"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed."

~Albert Einstein

D standing on the flight deck of the USS Yorktown, looking out over Charleston Harbor

My children have gifted me many countless gifts, the non-material kind. One of the greatest is allowing me to experience "wonder and awe." They get so excited about the world around them. Every insect, every flower, construction sites, beautiful buildings, springtime birds, fluffy snowflakes and fuzzy cattails. If they see dolphins in a harbor, pet a stingray, or are surrounded by sea turtles, the reaction is exponentially greater.

Dolphins! D saw them first from the USS Yorktown.

Cooper River Bridge, Charleston...we never tired of the view or the bridge crossings. Beautiful.

They speak in exclamation marks. I will so miss it when they don't, at least not quite the same way.

 

I savor the beauty around me, this is not usually a struggle for me. But with my kids, life is more magnified, like the prisms Pollyanna hung in windows to create rainbows that sparkled on every surface.

And I will miss dandelions. Belle has spotted the first dandelions this week. My counters and kitchen table are decorated with vase upon vase of these yellow beauties. I'm constantly hearing exclamations of "Dandelions! Dandelions!" as she sprints to collect each and every one.

Some day dandelions will be a weed, but now they are a spring jewel. I will miss the dandelion bouquets, but I will enjoy each offering in this season.

springtime~Hearst Castle

Tis the season, I'm into spring. My son teases me because I use the phrase "Tis the Season" quite often. I love seasonal anything. Whatever is seasonal, especially food, I grab it. Last autumn, while shopping at Trader Joe's, every pumpkin-themed item in the store found its way into our cart. My husband rolled his eyes multiple times. He says that advertising was created especially for me...the target for all seasonal "propaganda."


I love seasonal food, but I also love seasonal activities. I won't miss the aspens changing in the mountains and the elk bugling season, and I won't miss the blossoming trees in spring. No matter if I'm home or traveling, I search out seasonal gems. My favorite season in which to travel is autumn, but a close second is spring. Late spring, you can usually count on good weather and as I said, every place has its spring gems. My brother and I toured Hearst Castle, several hours south of San Francisco. A beauty.

those March days, the first samplings of spring

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Spring where I live sometimes bears a striking resemblance to winter. In spite of knowing that heavy, wet snow will come, the clustered buds appear on our trees, new green peeks out from the ground, fledgling leaves prepare to welcome the cherry blossoms. The sun shines bright, the air is fresh and cool, it's like breathing hope into my lungs when I step outside. Cabin fever flees our home. I look at the world with visions of daffodils and tulips dancing in my head, remembering my excitement when I saw these flowers bloom in my mom's garden as a child.

Spring is not predictable, but that's okay. The unpredictability makes it beautiful. No matter what assails it, we know the fruit of spring. Even a little battering cannot quench its bloom.

Crocus blooming at the botanical gardens...

"In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours."

~Mark Twain

“The wilderness and the desert will be glad,
And the [land] will rejoice and blossom;
Like the crocus

It will blossom profusely
And rejoice with rejoicing and shout of joy...

They will see the glory of the LORD,

The majesty of our God.

Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.

Say to those with anxious heart,
'Take courage, fear not...'”

Isaiah 35:1-4

...Hope