can I choose you?

Many evenings as we put our kids to bed, we're done. "Done" being a universal code parents use when they feel like they cannot do one more thing. One more question, whine, mess, request, anything will tip the scale to results that will be nothing resembling pretty. My husband and I don't like this about ourselves. We know we live in days which are very long, and years which are very short. My husband and I talk often of finding the balance between taking the "brain space" we need in the evenings without putting a wall up towards our kids. Boundaries are good for their life, but we can draw the lines too sharply at times. Balance. Illusive, yet worth striving to find as our parenting seasons change.

Several nights ago, I was tucking Belle into bed and she requested a story. Our dialogue went something like this:

Belle: "Please can you read me a story? Just me? Just one book? Please?" (She pleads quite well with her big chocolate brown eyes.)

Me: "Not tonight, time to sleep."

Belle: "Oh, please!?"

Me: "Okay, just one."

I grabbed Horace off of the girls' bookcase and read this very sweet story to my very sweet girl. I love this book. It tells the story of a leopard cub adopted by a tiger family. One day, he sets off to find a family that looks like he does. He finds a family playing in the park and spends the day with them, but realizes that just because they look like him, it does not make them his family. It's a beautiful story of adoption, displaying that families do not have to look the same to be designed perfectly.

I love my kids so very much. They call themselves chocolate, caramel, and vanilla. It is their normal. I can't imagine having a daughter who looks like me and I wouldn't want it because I wouldn't have my two beauties. I tell them often how very glad I am that God chose them especially for our family. I want them to rest in that truth. Knowing God sovereignly hand-picked them to be with us. Not just for their sake, but for ours. I don't know where we would be without them.

Belle was thoughtful as I read her Horace. In the middle she said, "I never wanted a new family." Sweet words for my heart.

When I finished and I was tucking her in (again), she looked at me and said, "Hey mom, can I choose you as my mom every single day?"

I would love that.

We bought this leopard for Belle when she was born. When she first learned to talk, she named it "Beppo" because that was as close as she could come to "leopard." Sweet memories.