300 days of beauty, day 37 [the holidays]

We've had a rough couple of weeks. We said goodbye to someone very beloved, especially by our kids. A teacher and friend and lovely lovely woman who deeply impacted their lives over the last five years went home to be with the Lord. We are heartbroken. I hate so much how this feels. I know how this journey goes. It can neither be erased nor sped up. 

I have lost many people I have loved dearly. My kids were younger then, they could not grasp the grief. Now, they are older. Harder than dealing with my own sadness is walking alongside D, Cece, and Belle as they cope with the sickness and death of someone they love so much. We've had many tears and conversations, each one difficult, but good.

I feel worn. I long for heaven. I get so tired of goodbyes.

When I knew her last days on this earth were near, I grabbed The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis and read the last chapter. For whatever reason, I had never finished The Chonicles of Narnia, but while in Tennessee this last fall we listened to the Reader's Theatre version of all seven books. I don't know what I expected from The Last Battle, but it was different than I thought. I was sobbing at the end. Reading it again, this last chapter penned by C.S. Lewis comforted my hurting heart even amidst the tears I could not corral.

[spoiler alert: Many of the beloved Narnia characters stand before Aslan, wondering if they must return to their world]

"The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning."

The holidays. I love the wording, the feeling of hope and expectation. Some day.

I hate the loss we experience here. I'm angry. Sometimes it feels as if I can bear no more. But my term isn't over. And that's okay. Separation is temporary for those who hope in Christ. The longing and ache for those we've lost serves us well--to remind us that we are not created for this world. We live in the "Shadow-lands" and some day we will live out the "Great Story... in which every chapter is better than the one before."

"For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come."  

~Hebrews 13:14

the view as we traveled home from the celebration of life service

[The beautiful, soul encouraging artwork pictured at the top of this post was created by my lovely friend, Jenn, through her business Cobblestone Road Hand Lettering.]