My survival repertoire while my husband travels...

We're settling in the for the week as my husband is traveling for work. It has definitely gotten easier as the kids have gotten older. When they were young Monday quickly felt like Thursday. Now, the time flies, or swirls much like a tornado vortex.  And although by all standards my kids should not wake up in the middle of night, when my husband is gone, one of them usually feels nostalgic for middle of the night one-on-one time. They know their dad is gone. It'll probably be my six-year-old who the other night decided that the time was right to have a tea party with her dolls at 4 a.m.  complete with a tea table (upside down basket), tablecloth (her blanky), dishes (dollhouse dishes), an LED candle, and friends (little Barbies). Oh, and she was decked out in her Elsa nightgown and Cinderella shoes. She kills me and cracks me up all at the same time. My husband was up for that one, I got to laugh about it in the morning.

All that being said, I have a few tactics for surviving sanely while my husband is gone.

Pickle, the travel lion, making sure he doesn't get left behind...

1. I adjust my schedule. We homeschool so I don't expect to achieve the same amount of productivity. I work on the most necessary subjects, the ones where we need the most repetition or the ones where we have fallen behind. More time is given to keeping the house from imploding. More mental and physical energy is required. Something's gotta give.

I had a week where I scheduled the kids' well-child checks (too many shots to count), neutered our puppy (I mean a vet did it...), took the car into get repairs and reorganized the whole house, plus hosted a ladies' night. Yes, this is a true story and it was a mistake. Meltdown. Supermom in swift order became psycho mom trailed by snippy mom.

Every mom faces a different reality, some may work outside the home, some may work from home, others have kids in public school along with sports and commitments that cannot be altered. Life doesn't stop, I get it, and sometimes my weeks while he's gone are nuts. It happens, but I do what I can.

2. I plan something fun. We go to a museum, take a field trip, get together with friends at a park, or go a movie. Something that gets me out of the house and keeps their minds off of the fact that their dad is gone. Sometimes we go out for breakfast and then take a walk depending on the weather. A treat, special time and memories for us to share.

3. I don't cook. I used to raid the freezer section, like pirate-style, pillage, plunder, leave no stone or frozen appetizer left unturned. D would look in the cart and ask when his daddy was leaving. For awhile he called our airport "daddy's airport" which just about killed my husband. D has always been a food purest and would rather have a home cooked meal.

Now that the kids can make their own food, I let them pick, but it has to be simple. We buy cereal, eggs, bread, cheese, hot dogs, fruit and veggies, and they are welcome to grab what they want from the freezer section too. One night is usually pizza night. I like to cook and I spend a lot of the time cooking and cleaning the kitchen during normal weeks. I realize how much time this takes during the weeks I don't cook. Also, a clean kitchen brings much peace to our home, decreases my stress, and frees up a whole bunch of time.

4. We "tailgate." This is our family term meaning "eating on a picnic blanket in the living room while watching a movie or a television show during dinnertime" (a tradition set by my mom). Not our usual routine, but a treat.

5. They go to bed earlier. We're talking 7 or before. I don't require them to go to sleep, but they must be in their rooms reading, drawing, playing quietly, listening to music or audio books or a combination. I'm an introvert and after a whole day of noise and no "pinch hitter" coming in, this is a must for me.

6. Travel animals! Cece is especially sensitive when her daddy is gone. So her daddy took her on a special date and they chose a travel animal. A lavender wide-eyed bunny (named Lavender) that she only gets when he is gone or I am gone. Just recently Belle picked her own travel animal on a special date with dad--an aqua, sparkly owl named Violet. My husband also has a travel animal. When D was little he chose a lion and named it Pickle. D remembers to pack it in his dad's suitcase almost every trip (even though he's 11, it's tradition). My travel animal is a polar bear named Rhubarb.

Violet and Lavender

7. Coffee. In ridiculous quantities. All day long.

8. Get sleep. I never do (and not because of the coffee I drink all day long). I'm not self-regulating at all when my husband travels. And I'm a night owl, so it's a compounding problem. But if you are smarter than I am, get sleep.

9. Connect. Between the time zone difference and my husband's commitments when he travels, we don't always catch each other. My husband talks on the phone with the kids sometimes, he has read Narnia books on speaker phone other times. Sometimes, we miss each other and we just send texts or pictures. It helps.

10. Take a moment. The demands are higher and more exhausting when I'm on my own. As I mentioned, I'm not disciplined per se at going to bed when I should and therefore I don't get up before my kids. I still take a moment for myself, maybe several. I clear the kitchen table, light a candle, make a latte, and read for a few minutes. I've had these moments in quiet and I've had them with Sesame Street playing in the background. Everybody is different, this works for me. Whatever "a moment" looks like for you, take it.

11. Remember there is grace. Sometimes my achievement of the week is that the kids are still alive at the end. You laugh, I'm serious. Did I feed them? Check. Did I strangle them? Nope. Did they watch too much TV? Check. But His mercies are new every week, every day, every minute every second. It'll be okay. Did I love on them? I hope so. Did I ask forgiveness when I lost it? Please say yes.

This morning I woke up in a funk. I felt edgy and a little bit sad, but couldn't quite diagnose it, nor did I have time for introspection. It was one foot in front of the other, one word, one action, one prayer at a time. We made it.

I'll sign off. I have a phone call to make.

St. Patrick and his day

“Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.” 

~St. Patrick

In past years, I might have turned everything green and created a spread of exclusively green food. This year, I'm tired and my ambitions are lackluster at best and are quickly squashed by reality. Just being honest. We will wear green (I'll probably forget as usual and get pinched). We will also read The Story of St. Patrick: More Than Shamrocks and Leprechauns, a tradition. We want our kids to know about great men of faith and although I don't have a problem with the fun, uber-green side of St. Patrick's Day, I want them to know why and for whom this day was created for in the first place.

Reubens top the dinner menu, turkey reubens that is. I grew up with the traditional corned beef and cabbage, but I have never achieved the affinity for corned beef that my mom holds (meaning I can't stomach it), so I alter it just a bit. We may possibly make Irish Brown Bread during the day...and maybe we'll go buy a green donut or something. I do like festive treats....

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

 

march forth and pancakes

This is the time of year when I start to feel the pressure as I look at the kids' schooling. I now can see the end and count the weeks without needing a calendar. And every year I reach a point where I kick it into high gear, having survived February (hardest homeschool month by far), and march forth (yes, it is March fourth, and I didn't even plan that;-)) to complete and conquer each of their grade-level curriculum.

As it is with homeschool, in some respects, it never ends. There always exists an element of constant learning. We do what resembles a year-round model, but we vary the content and schedule. That is not to say that I don't drop things (on purpose), because I do. A dictator doesn't do anyone in my home any good. But some curriculum needs to be finished and I need to be faithful, so we stare resolutely at the finish line and persevere.

To keep myself from becoming that driven, non-conducive to a happy home dictator, I break it up. This usually involves food. The temperature read 15 degrees this morning, inches of powdered snow covered our city, but we bundled up and we went for pancakes, amazing gourmet pancakes. I sipped coffee, we savored each bite and we chatted.

chocolate chip, candy apple, and sweet potato pancakes...so good!

I heard about D's book he just finished, Hatchet. He compared it to other books he read and how it was similar and different. I love that he adds books to my reading stack, it's great. Being a more introspective kid, he then turned his attention to his sisters' conversations and antics.

We talked about “How to Train Your Dragon 2” and as Belle talked about Hiccup, I asked if she wanted to marry Hiccup. Her face was hilarious and priceless. We decided that it would be a good fit for her adventure-loving spirit and he seems to be a man of character, so it was good with me.

Of course, then the conversation naturally switched to whom Cece would like the marry if she married an animated character. She chose Kristoff from Frozen, a man of courage, loyalty, character, and humor. Another good choice, I love Kristoff too. Cece then added how horrible it would have been to marry Prince Hans. The girls then teased each other about their choices, it was a teenager preview of sorts.

The day is thrown off, but in a good way. Plenty of days available for a more intense academia, but today the best choice was pancakes.