a Slinky in a tree

Walking to my car after working out this afternoon my eye caught the forlorn sight of this stranded, stretched-out Slinky. I literally paused in the street, cocked my head to the side, a rush of empathy surging through me. 

I felt like that Slinky. I was one with the Slinky--out-of-whack and in a place where I wasn't quite sure how I arrived at such a place, in such a state. I saw a clear picture of my week. I've been stretched beyond normal capacity. Tangled. Messy. Paralyzed. Overwhelmed, but not sure how to proceed. The "May vortex" has arrived early.

(Seriously, has any Slinky in the history of the world ever been quite the same after getting tangled up? And they always get snarled up at some point. Disentangling a slinky from itself if far more challenging than a Rubik's Cube.)

So often I am my own worst enemy. If I could only untangle myself from myself, maybe it would be okay. I beat myself down. I feel the kinks that don't seem to get worked out of my life. I might as well be a gnarled Slinky dangling precariously from slender tree branches, that's how stable I feel. And man, I just keep sinning. I hate it.

Paul's words echo in my head:

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing."  Romans 7:15,19 ESV

But thank the Lord, literally, for this:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:9,10 ESV

I still resemble that Slinky. I still feel stretched and tangled. I don't understand how God uses my weakness, I'd rather He would use my strengths, although I know He uses these too. I'd rather not sin, but I know that to be impossible. So I will continue to boast in the Lord. I am nothing without Him, I've known this for many, many years. 

He is sufficient. 

So very thankful.