300 days of beauty, days 52-64 [kaleidoscope]

I know, I know, I disappeared. I've been known to do that from time to time. May vortex, time spent in hospitals, general life exhaustion, and I can even blame it on the rain (which has fallen in exorbitantly copious amounts...I don't know if I can use all of those words together, but anyway...).

So this evening as I prepare to travel once again, I am determined to display a fraction of the last several weeks. All from my phone (couldn't find the cord to download from my camera...sigh), all from my ordinary life. A kaleidoscope.

And as a side note, the half-marathon I had been training for has been downgraded to a 10k. I know that sounds much like hurricane terminology, but the prospect of running a half-marathon was starting to feel much like a category 5 storm. The training was worth it, but this was not the season. I would like to try again, but for this weekend, I will enjoy running a 10k with my brother, spending a weekend in Chicago, and seeing a much-beloved cousin.



Alright, now for the parade of randomness...

My son is training for a 10k and asked to go on a run with a stop at the store. Not his usual request, but I agreed. He ran to the store just to buy me a honeycrisp apple because it was National Teacher Appreciation Day. He came back, panting and sweaty and placed this on the table next to me. I nearly cried I was so very touched.

We studied geography by taste-testing single source chocolate from different countries around the world. We savored it and will continue this study over the next couple weeks. LOVE.

I never tire of these gorgeous blossoms. They survived far longer than I thought they would.

We read on the front porch ALL DAY. The weather has been cruddy, so we relished this day.

A GORGEOUS tranquil evening and a date with my husband. We walked and talked for miles through our city, along our trails.

I was sick, so so sick. My sweet friend dropped these supplies off for me. I'm rich in friends, no doubt.

Back to the front porch and sweet Belle looking through her picture Bible. She loves Moses and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

We hadn't had the best day, this daughter and I, but in the evening, this is what I found written on her mug of tea. We don't have to be perfect, we can't be. We can give love and grace and mercy to one another even in the messy times.

Love my girl's window art, especially against the rain splattered backdrop and the newly unfurled spring leaves.

Again, the front porch...I sip coffee, eat breakfast, and read out there most every morning (weather permitting).

The zoo is always fun. Belle was on a mission to sketch flamingos on this zoo trip.

And tonight...my husband was helping with all sorts or "to-do" items. I'm exhausted after being gone most of the week and spending much time at the hospital and in a car. I'm chugging through one item after another and he writes this for me. A cup of warm tea and truth. What can be better for my very weary heart that desperately needs rest?

Prayer, peace, and a pile of laundry

It started with a basket of laundry. My seven-year-old had been given the arduous task (in her mind) of folding a basket of towels. I was working nearby when I glanced over at my girl. Mid-fold, she had dropped her head and silent tears were coursing down her cheeks.

This sweet girl of mine is known for her spontaneous tear displays. Their size, velocity and volume rival any Hollywood actress. She sometimes grabs a bowl to catch them so she can make tear soup (I'm not joking). She possesses a tender heart and a dramatic spirit. Although we are not hardened to her tears, we are usually not overly concerned either.

However, at this moment I sensed something deeper in her heart than a dislike of chores or superficial concerns. I knelt beside her and pulled her into my arms. When I asked why she was crying, she sobbed as the words poured out.

“I miss Abby! I miss her so much. I haven't seen her forever. I want her to be safe. I wish things could go back to the way they used to be. I want her to be okay. Mom, I want her to be safe!”

Abby. One of her favorite people in the world. She has grown up with Abby. Abby has loved on her since we brought her home. Abby was one of the first names she learned outside of our family.

As I continued to hold her and rub her back, I longed to make it better, but I knew I couldn't. I wish I could, I wish I knew everything was going to be okay. I can only entrust Abby to Jesus and point my kids to do the same.

Her torrent of tears subsided and she returned to folding her pile of towels. I stayed nearby, working at the kitchen table with my back to her. Moments later, my tender-hearted girl was sobbing again in earnest. She was lying face down on a large floor pillow, hugging our dog like a stuffed animal. I began to rise from my chair, but stopped when I picked out the words coming from her mouth.

“Please God, please! Please, God! Please! Please God!”

She was pleading for Abby. Now I was crying. Tears rolled steadily down my cheeks. I sat transfixed, silently watching the scene before me.

In what was probably less than a minute, she sat up, released the dog (we have a very tolerant dog), and let out a deep breath. She looked toward me and asked, “Mom, can I listen to Colin [Buchanan]?”

“Um, yes, that's fine.”

I knew I had witnessed a profound moment. We pray for Abby and her whole family often, but it doesn't always seem like she's engaged. On this occasion, I had not told her to pray. It was her and her God. I watched her grieve, I grieved with her. And then I saw her grief push her to plead and petition the One who is trustworthy to receive and be a balm for the deepest cries of her heart. What struck me most was the peace I watched her receive. I could visibly see the shift in her demeanor and spirit. Her heart was at rest.

I had witnessed the truth and power of these words: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

I love these verses. I might even name them as my favorite. How often do I experience this peace? I pour out my requests, fears, heartaches with abandon but often forfeit my peace, forfeit my rest in God. My habit seems to be pray, cry, plead, then worry, fret, worry.

I'm not implying a sort of magic formula. Follow these steps and never struggle again—a method in which it is possible to release cares and not be bothered again. It's continual, this giving over of our anxiety and fears. Life if tough—a battle to the core.

This day, watching my girl, a young believer in age and faith release her heartbreak and receive undeniable peace, I was amazed, humbled, and convicted. I wondered if I had lost that child-like faith. Raw. Genuine. Full of trust.

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” Colossians 3:15 ESV

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 ESV

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27 ESV

These words should be more than cheery proverbial mash, carry more weight than an inane fortune cookie. Today, as I wrestle through much that burdens my mind and heart, I can't shake the scene set in my living room amid unfolded towels and an unsuspecting dog. What my daughter experienced, peace surpassing understanding, is for me too. Every day. Every moment. And I want it.

300 days of beauty, day 51 [faithful]

I did survive the hut trip. I came back sleep deprived and filthy and not quite ready to start a new week. Right now I categorize it as a unique and valuable experience. There was much laughter and much quiet time to read and reflect, beautiful vistas, and again, more exhaustion than I could handle. It didn't help that my husband left for a business trip at 3 a.m.-ish Monday morning. But, I have beautiful pictures to share...still on my camera.

My sweet grandma is in the hospital and I will be headed to see her tomorrow. I'm looking forward to some time with her. I love her a lot. 

Life doesn't stop, and the last several weeks have been a blur. Tonight, I'm working on a writing project, icing my knee from running, and watching North and South, which I love.

Tonight, I'm thankful that God is faithful. I feel that I'm not functioning well and I have much on my mind, but He is faithful in the daily everything that I face.

And I'm thankful that our spring blizzard didn't take down (literally and figuratively) my beloved cherry blossom trees. It's the little things.

300 days of beauty, day 50 [Seattle misc.]

on the ferry to Bainbridge Island

artsy...looking toward Puget Sound

artsy...near the market

Belle sent her cat, Flaky, with me. Snowy stayed home. I asked her what I should do if Flaky ran away or got lost and she said, "Mom, they aren't real, they are stuffed cats." But she still loves to hear about and see pictures of her adventure.

Flaky and my travel animal, Rhubarb (family tradition)

Coffee Flight at Starbucks roasting and tasting room

coffee flight plus smoked butterscotch latte

Sunset on the Sound

views from the Market overlooking Puget Sound

Mount Ranier from the ferry

Bainbridge Island!

Amazing fish and chips at Pike Place Market with super-crazy-strong garlic fries

300 days of beauty, day 49 [Chihuly]

 

Chihuly Garden and Glass